LevixReader - Nightmares, Tea, + Different Reality

[listen for song used here]

_{Oh and do you know what I mean?  Mmm, do you see?}

_{It’s like a different kind of reality.}

_{Yeah, I think I’ll make another cup...}

    At first, it was just Eren.

    The middle of the night, he’d sit up and scream, or let out a yell.  Jean would say “shut up” and everyone would go back to sleep.

    The new squad Levi was in a new location and that location was a pretty small cottage in the middle of nowhere.  Which meant, you, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Historia, and Jean were all crammed into one room, sleeping in bunk beds lining all the walls.

    Only Eren waking up?  Well, usually everyone (occasionally Connie slept through it) would wake up too, then go right back to sleep.

    But Jean started to have the nightmares too.

    After him, Armin would wake you all up with panic attacks in the middle of the night.  He slept on the bunk above yours, and it always fell to you to calm him down.

    Sasha and Mikasa would wake up everybody once in a while, and Connie…  Well Connie didn’t need to have nightmares to keep people awake.  He snored, very loudly.

    Four out of seven nights, someone would wake everyone up.

    You’d always been the kind of person who needed to lay in a bed in the dark for about an hour before you could fall asleep, and being woke up at random hours in your rest was not helping.  Trying not to be a pain, you just dealt with the loss of sleep and didn’t complain.

    But one day, you took action.

    The night began with Armin waking up in a panic attack, which you had to address.  Sighing, you climbed up the ladder to his bed and tried to calm him down.  He was shaking and crying and you were trying to soothe him, but he get pushing against you.  After about ten minutes, you asked Mikasa and Eren to help.  In about five minutes, the two of them managed to help Armin calm down.  He tried to explain what happened, but he was utterly ununderstandable.  He went back to sleep, and everyone else, though they had been silent as Armin was having his attack, fell back asleep.  You pulled the covers tightly over you, trying to get comfortable.

    After about an hour, you were in that almost-asleep-but-vaguely-aware state when there was a yell.  There were various groans, and you felt irritation sweep through you,

    “Sorry,” Jean’s voice rang out.  Of course, Jean had to have a nightmare that woke him up, of freaking course.  You let out a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut, pulling your blanket over your ear, trying to block out all noise.

    Relatively soon, you actually fell asleep!  But, it wasn’t for long.  Mikasa let out a choking gasp loudly sitting up in her bunk.

    The entire room moaned, you all just wanted to sleep…

    “Sorry about that,” Mikasa whispered.

    “AGH, oh my god, that’s it,” you murmured, swinging your legs over the side of your bed, “Everybody, get up.”

    “What are you doing, _____?” Connie asked, sitting up.

    “I’m going to try something my mom taught me, but everyone needs to move it and get to the kitchen,” you told him, rubbing your eyes then standing up.

    You marched to the door and held it open,

    “Move it.”

    The squad was muttering and whining, but no one had really been asleep.  They filed out and walked to the kitchen, with you herding them in the rear.

    Opening cabinets, you pulled out eight cups for, one for each of you.  Placing them down on the small table, the soldiers gathered around with extra chairs.

    Smiling to yourself, you put on hot water and as it heated up turned to your comrades,

    “So, when I was younger, I had these horrible nightmares.  I’d always wake up afraid, but I couldn’t ever remember what they were about, just that I was scared…” you began, their weary eyes drifted to you, your soft voice soothing the group, “And as I got older, it got worse, and when I came crying my mom at last took me to the kitchen and made us cups of tea.”

    The water was hot enough, and you poured it in each of the mugs, grabbing tea bags and plopping one in each.  You pulled a chair up yourself as you waited for the teabag to dilute the tea.

    “It became a tradition when I had nightmares.  We didn’t talk about what I could have seen in them, or what I should try to stop them coming, we just drank tea in silence.  Eventually the nightmares went away.”

    “Like, gone?” Jean asked.  You nodded,

    “Yes, that might not work with you guys, but it’s worth a shot.  Besides, I haven’t had a midnight cup of tea like this in years.”  A gentle smile formed on your face as you longingly looked at the tea, remencising of sipping the liquid with your mom.  Removing the teabags, you passed a mug to each of your friends.  It was a bit bitter, but good tasting to you.  And the warmth filled you.

_{I’m feeling a little bit strange today.}

_{I been sitting around in a daze.}

_{I’m feeling a little crazy.}

_{Oh why am I so goddamn lazy?}

    “I like the tea…” Armin murmured.  You hummed in agreement,

    “I never feel more relaxed then drinking tea with the people I care about,” you told the group, looking to each of their tired faces, “That’s with you guys.  Even though I don’t get nightmares anymore, this is really nice.”

    Everyone smiled, and drank, in a calm silence.  It wasn’t awkward, or sad, or angry, just a peaceful quiet.

    That lasted for about five minutes.

    “What the hell is going on!” a voice yelled as a short figure marched through the doorway furiously staring his underlings, “Do you know what time it is?”

    “We have a good explanation, Corporal Levi!” Eren piped up.  Levi glared at him,

    “What would that be?”  Eren looked terrified at Levi’s expression and turned to you,

    “Well, it was your idea, _____, you should explain actually.”

    Levi spun on you.  Even though your superior was mad at you and looked like he wanted to punch you in the face, you were so calm and relaxed that you weren’t afraid.

    “For a while now, people have been having nightmares that wake all of us up.  Tonight, Eren, Jean, and Mikasa all had bad dreams, and Armin had a panic attack.  I decided I had to do something, and tea has worked for me when I need to calm down.  I thought this would work best to get everyone’s nerves down.”

    “You thought this was best?” Levi deadpanned, “Really?”  You didn’t blink,

    “Yes.”

    The following seconds were a contest of will between you and Levi, he was trying to break you with his petrifying glare, but honestly, you were in the zone and wouldn’t have broken if the Colossal Titan was narrowing his eyes at you.

    “Well, Levi,” you said, standing up, not breaking the gaze, “Would you like a cup of tea?”

    He sighed,

    “No.   All of you go to bed, now.  Except for you, _____, you clean this up.”  The captain gestured to the cups, teabags, and pot of water,

    “Right away, sir,” you sighed, getting to work.

    Suddenly, all the other cadets were very eager for bed.  But you stayed and tidied, washing out the cups and putting them back in place.

_{‘Cos if I should stumble over my words}

_{Reach out and catch me}

    Levi leaning against the wall, observing you,

    “_____.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “Do the nightmares really wake all of you up?”

    “Yes, they do, sir.”

    “Tch.  And does this happen often?”

    “The majority of the week,” you replied, putting teabags in the trash and sitting down at one of the chairs, running your hands through your hair and sighing deeply.

    “Hm.”

    “Yeah, it’s really bad.  More and more of them get nightmares now…” you added.

    “I heard you say you didn’t get them.”

    You paused,

    “That was a lie.”

    “You do then?”

    “Yes, mine just don’t wake up everyone.  Only me.”

    “You lied to your friends,” Levi stated.  You shook your head,

    “White lie.  To make them feel better.  Besides, my dreams don’t matter.  Dreams only matter to children.”

    “You are a child,” Levi responded.

    “To you,” you retorted, then quickly followed with, “Sir.”

    “I’m not that old.”

    “You’re pretty old, sir.”

    “You can call me Levi.”

    “Why?”

    “Because it’s one o’clock in the morning, we’re alone, I don’t give a shit, and your ‘sirs’ are getting on last nerve,” Levi snapped.  You nodded,

    “Okay, Levi.”  You breathed in and out, exhausted, when a thought occurred to you,

    “Levi, since we’re alone, and it’s one o’clock in the morning, and you don’t give a shit, do you have nightmares?”

    The man paused, looking at you, and then answered,

    “Yes.”

    “I feel like that should shock me, but it doesn’t.”  Humanity’s strongest has nightmares?  The rest of the Survey Corps did, so why not?

    “We’ve seen horrible things.  Horrible things cause nightmares,” Levi reasoned.

    “True.”

    Silence fell on the pair of you,

    “Tea helps,” you admitted, “If I die, I’d like to have a cup of tea in my hand.”

    Levi turned to you, and he almost smiled.  It was hard to describe, it wasn’t a smile, but his eyes softened, and he wasn’t directly frowning…  Whatever he did make your heart beat a bit quicker in your chest.

    “You’re right, tea helps,” Levi affirmed, then stood up, “But we should go to bed.”

    Nodding, you stood up as well, he walked to the doorway out of the kitchen which led to his room,

    “Goodnight, _____.”

    “'Night Levi.”

 _{All that I want from you is your smile.}

_{I haven’t seen one quite like it in a while.}

_{‘Cos you showed me how to hold my hands.}

_{So let me know that I’m welcome in your lands.}

    One night, no one had nightmares, except you.  But you just awoke, heart beating quickly.  No one noticed.  Sneakily, you left the room for the kitchen.  A few minutes later, a warm cup of tea sat in your hands, breathing in the steam.

    Even alone, you were content.

    But your loneliness did not last long.  Levi walked through the doorway to the kitchen, and seemed taken aback by your presence.  You smiled at him, and walked over to a cabinet, taking another cup and pouring some tea in.

    He just stood, staring at you.  Warm in your hands, you placed it down at the seat across from you.  Returning to your seat, you glanced expectedly at him.  Looking very tired, and a little confused, Levi sat down across from you.

    “So, you had nightmares too?” you questioned.

    “I was going to try your crappy tea coping method,” Levi uttered.

    “If it works, it’s not crappy,” you beamed.

    “Tch.”

    Though he wasn’t ecstatic to be drinking tea in the middle of the night, but as you two sat in quiet, he seemed to get very calm.

    “I never more happy than when I’m drinking,” you said to yourself.  Levi stared at you with a slightly amused look on his face.  Your eyes widened as you realized how the sentence sounded,

    “Not drinking alcohol!” you blurted, “Tea!”

    “I figured that out,” Levi noted.

    Face flushed, your hung your head,

    “It’s too late for me to be thinking normally,” you chuckled, “I’m a tea alcoholic…  Oh god, I need more sleep.”

    “After the horrors of the day, the night doesn’t offer any asylum,” Levi thought outloud.

    “Getting deep there,” you smiled.

    Levi sipped his tea,

    “Tea provokes deep speculation.”

    “I suppose,” you replied, “I mean, you’re getting all real and honest about dreams and me coming out about my alcohol problems…  Deep.”

    “You’re funnier than you look, _____,” Levi told you, not laughing, but not frowning.

    “Jean said something similar to me once,” you pondered, trying to remember what he said, “But it was about me being funny looking…”

    “You’re not funny looking.”

    “Yeah, well, I pretty much ignore anything coming from that horse face about funny looks.”

    “You’re pretty,” Levi complimented.

    “I--.  Uh, thank you, Levi,” you stuttered.

    “And you made a nice cup of tea,” he added.  You threw your head back and laughed,

    “Well, that’s what men really look for, isn’t it?  Tea making capabilities!”

    He nodded, and then you both decided to go back to bed.

    Time passed.  More cups of tea were made in the dead of night.

    It wasn’t every night, but most of them.

    You got to see Levi differently, if only slightly different from how he usually was.  Not that the pair of you were close, but you yourself were closer to Levi than anyone in the Special Operations squad.  Even though the factor uniting you two in the depths of the night was hellish nightmares, you looked forward to the nightly occasions.

    In the world of darkness and sadness, a cup of tea with Levi was sometimes your only light.

    Then, after a final expedition for you, Levi drank his tea alone.

_{All that I want from you is a sign.}

_{Let me know that it’s all right to smile.}

_{‘Cos you showed me to your door.}

_{And I think that I’ve been here at least one time before.}

    Coldness filled the room as the last person of the morning crowd left, opening the door and letting in a gust of air before the door swung shut.

    You sighed, it was nice to have a part time job on the weekends (god knows you needed it, being a broke college student like all your peers at that age), but it wore you out.  Glad the morning rush was over, you relaxed and went to the back room to look for some coffee beans.  The machine had ran out a few minutes ago.

    To be honest, the cafe you worked at wasn’t the best, but it served good drinks at least.  Coffee, tea, hot coco…  All warm and savory beverages that you were proud to say were from where you worked, the sandwiches…  Not so much.

    A bell rang, signaling someone had entered the store,

    “Just a moment!” you yelled, grabbing some coffee beans off a shelf.  Normally they had about three people working, but your boss had taken the day off to ‘bond with his son,’ and your other co-workers simply hadn’t shown up.

    Sliding out of the back room, you saw a male figure standing at the counter with a large jacket on, head dipped, scrolling through something on a smartphone.  Placing the coffee beans next to the maker, you clapped your hands together standing behind the register,

    “What can I get for you today?” you asked cheerfully.

    “A cup of tea,” the man said in monotone, not looking up, and quickly described what he liked.

    “Right away, sir!” you nodded, turning around.

    You proceeded to make the tea, not turning back to the man until you were gone, when you did, you saw he was staring at you.

    And as you saw his face, that stern look, softening a bit at seeing your face, the undercut hair style…

    In that moment, you remembered.   Remembered everything.  Horrifying past remembrances along with joyful ones flooded to your brain, but they were pushed out to the back of your mind as you recollected pleasant memories of one man.

    He took the tea from off the counter, and sipped it, again, not smiling, but his entire face softening as he saw recognition,

    “The tea is still as good as ever,” he complimented.  A smile graced your lips, and he continued, “Though if I recall, _____, I told you not to call me sir when we are alone and when I don’t give a shit.”

    Delighted laughter escaped from your mouth at the sheer strangeness of it all.  Recognizing a friend from a different past life had not been something you had planned for, and though the flashbacks coming to you were mostly painful, you couldn’t help grinning at the man,

    “Well, Levi.  It’s been a while.”